Christmas Photo Slideshow

This is about 10 minutes long... It tells the story in Photos about our Family Christmas activities.

Enjoy!

Julia

Our Family Christmas!

Merry Christmas! We had such a great year this year. The kids got lots of cool new things. Jordan got an R2D2 robot, a wooden sled, remote control cars, and lots of cool car tracks. Jorianna got a princess throne, dress up clothes, my little pony, polly pocket, and disney princess miniatures. Both of them were so excited and had a really great time not only getting their new toys, but also giving their gifts. Jordan and Jori made birdhouses for Grams's garden and a Garden stone for Gram I and Granddad's garden.

We gave out lots of photos this year as family is so important to me, and sharing my passion for photos with everyone is such a blessing. In Fact, I got a brand new Digital SLR for Christmas, with tripod and carrying case. I'm super excited about what next years gifts will be. ;) Thank you to all who chipped in to get me the best christmas present ever!!!

Daddy got an Eagles Stocking from the kids. And new guitar strings, and a tuner from Santa. ;) LOL!

We have been so blessed by our families this year. Thanks for everything!

Happy New Year!

Realization...

I've come to the conclusion this week, after spending most of it in anger, and hurt, that I need to let go and move on. It's not fair for me to expect someone to forgive me when I'm not willing to move on and forgive completely. Just because I'm hurt, and want to vindicate myself, doesn't give me any right to hold onto unforgiveness because it's not being given to me.

Now, you all may be thinking, what do I have to be mad about, because you're the one that messed up and are asking for forgiveness. Yea, I am. And because I went unforgiven, I started to get defensive, angry and bring up issues about the whole relationship in my head that would vindicate my anger and rejection. That who does she think she is by not forgiving me? She's just as inperfect as I am, so.... (yada, yada...)

But I felt God reaching into my heart this morning and telling me to let it all go. It is not for me to judge. It is not for me to vindicate. It is for me to forgive. It is for me to apologize. It is for me to let it all go. Because in the end, He is the ultimate Judge of my heart. And my heart is what I need to concern myself with. Not the heart and actions of other people. If I want to be respected, than I need to show it. If I want to be forgiven, then I need to show that. If I want a friend, than I need to be one. It's a simple as that. If I want to be loved, than I need to be the one loving first. Jesus did tell us that, I am to love, because HE first loved me. The Golden Rule is to treat others how you want to be treated. And that's not saying that there is no room for mistakes, but that is saying that love encompases forgiveness, and respect, and kindness and patience. It's a matter of how we act. Not how others act or react to us. It's personal between me and my savior. HE first forgave me, so I am to forgive others.

End of story. We are accountable for ourselves to Him, and to no one else. If another human doesn't want to forgive, than that is out of my control, and why should I be angry, when all I am accountable for is my anger, and not their unforgiveness.

This is my lesson for this year, I think. I used to think it was pretty easy for me to forgive. But I've never been in a position where I was unforgiven. And I never realized that in my humaness and immaturity that I would find it hard to forgive the person who was unforgiving towards me. I believe this experience was in place to teach me to grow my character. I don't think my life lessons are over yet, and "sigh", means that I'm not even close to maturity. I do think that my life is worth it, even if all I learn to do over and over again is forgive. As forgiveness is a constant reminder of what Jesus has done for me.

Please keep praying for me. As I need a lot of Jesus in my life right now. And it's the perfect season to remember my imperfectness.

Saying I'm Sorry

Doesn't always end in forgiveness. I've learned this the hard way. I'm crushed that I am not forgiven. I made a mistake, and wound up hurting someone, even though I wasn't out to get her, I messed up. I apologized via e-mail immediately after my mistake was pointed out to me. Then because this mistake was effecting other parties, I apologized via e-mail to them as well. There was no contact from her or me for several months. I was letting her have some time to sort out her anger, and deal with the hurt in her own timing without hounding her for forgiveness, or grovelling at her feet. She knew I was sorry, and she knew what I had done. So, with the holiday's around, I wanted to see if we could hopefully resolve our differences over the phone. I didn't want to e-mail or do anything that could be taken the wrong way. I wanted to be more personal about my apology. She lives 2 hours from me and is part of our family, so I wanted to do it the best way that I could without showing up unannouced at her home making her feel uncomfortable.

So, last week, I finally got up some nerve, as I hate confrontation, especially when it comes to owning up to my miscomings, to call her. I leave a message as she was not available to talk. I wait a few days for her to call me back, and I don't hear from her. So, I try to call her again today.

One of her children answered the phone, and gave it to her. I apologized again and again over the phone, laying out that what I did was stupid, immature, and hurtful, while reiterating that my mistake was not intentional. That I was truley sorry for hurting her, and had no intentions of being hurtful. Did I think my actions through before I made my mistake? No, I didn't, and that makes them very immature. I should have thought through the consequences before acting.

I should have called sooner, but thinking that because I apologized via e-mail originally, that it was something that she was still considering. I'm glad I called her, even though it didn't go as I had hoped, I'm glad I finally stepped up to the plate and did the right thing. Owning up to one's mistakes is hard and is something that is character building. Even if it is just a baby step to maturity.

I now feel terrible that I'm still unforgiven, and have a lot of thinking to do about this whole situation. On the other hand though, I feel as though I have a weight lifted from my shoulders because I was responsible for my actions. I apologized, made the call to start a conversation that needed to be started, and owned up to my mistakes.

My sadness comes from the fact that my mistake, because it goes on unforgiven, affects other people in my family still. My kids, my husband, and my in-laws are all affected. The holidays this year will be different than years past. My family has all forgiven me except for the one party that was most hurt from my mistake. I don't know how to deal with my kids being hurt with this, part of my intention for apologizing was to at least have a relationship still fostered between the offended party, her family and my kids. I've been told before that I can not control other people's reactions or decisions, and that I'm only responsible for my own. This one still hurts though. I know she's responsible for cutting everyone out, and that she needs to deal with those consequences, but it still sucks for my kids that she's choosing to take out her anger at me on them.

I need a lot of prayer time, and prayers from anyone who reads this, to have God in control of my heart. I need to go to Him for forgivness. I need to come to terms with how to go forward now that I've laid my heart on the table. And I need prayer for peace within my heart.

I'm sorry for gossiping. I'm sorry for getting involved in a situation I should have kept my nose out of. And I'm sorry that I hurt you. I made a mistake. I hope that one day I can be forgiven by you. I hope that one day, relationships can be mended. I hope that you will be able to give me a second chance.