The Messes we Make....

The kids made a HUGE!!!! Mess! This evening as I was talking on the phone with Jason and cooking dinner (like a 10 min phone call!), I hear laughter coming from the foyer from the kids. I think all is well, as they are not killing each other! No screams of pain! I think it's all good. Well.... I get off the phone with Jason, and see what could possibly be so funny... I need a good laugh too!
I see the mess you see above, x10! Jordan's Basket of Clean Laundry, that I just folded the night before and put in his room to be put away (by him) all thrown downstairs; peicemeal. Jordan's play money from the game of Operation, all thrown down off the landing, Jordans stuffed animals, Jordan's train tracks, and some of Jordan's pillows. All thrown by Jorianna and Jordan off the landing. This was Jorianna's idea at first, it started with just the laundry, apparently (as that was the bottom layer!), and moved to whatever they could find in Jordan's room to throw off the landing.
Apparently, Jorianna thought if it wasn't her stuff, she wouldn't need to clean it up! Smart Girl...Right? Well, needless to say, I found out! And so, Jordan and Jorianna needed to clean up the HUGE mess! Now the mess is in Jordan's room. Which will be cleaned up tommorrow and Thursday!....

We all learn our lessons by the mistakes we make. Some of us learn the first time, some of us learn the 10th time. But each time, we are called to "clean up" our mess. And each time we "clean up" the mess, we learn that we can avoid disaster by not making that mistake again.

Hopefully, my kids will learn that lesson after 1 time.... But kids being kids, they will most likely be 18 and still learning that lesson.... :) (I still am at 30!)

Graduating

Here is Jordan graduating from Pre-school. Well, actually, there was no "graduation" but this was his last day of pre-school. And they all came out with little hats on as if there was a graduation. Isn't he adorable? I think so! :) He's my baby and going into kindergarten next year. What will we do with a kindergartener? I just think he's growing up too fast. I want to hit the rewind button and start over at two. Let's do a re-take, since we did a first run with lots of mistakes, we can do the second take with little to none. Please?!? HA! I know you are all laughing at me, especially all you parents who know how impossible it is to turn back the clocks.

I'm going to treasure each moment I have with this guy. Well, I'm going to really try and not get so lost in life that I forget who's swimming with me. I'm honored that God chose me to be part of Jordan's life in such an honorable position as Mom. He is such a boy. And such a boy who's in love with boy things. He's a boy after God's own heart. Giving, Loving, tough, sensitive, adventurous, creative, involved, intense, busy, and cuddly. Jordan, who loves to swim, fish, ride his bike, play baseball, do crafts, cook/bake, boat, bite his fingernails, smile, and perform for people, is my son.

Thanks Again, Lord, for my little Boy.

Practice Makes Perfect...

I don't know how many times I heard my mom say this to me growing up. I guess if I had a nickel for everytime, I'd be pretty rich right now. LOL! I love to scrapbook, and not every page I do turns out the way I want it too. Nor does everytime I stamp an image onto a piece of cardstock, look the way I intended it to. My mom, had some wisdom in her saying... The more you do something the better you get at it. You may never acheive perfection (depending on the task), but you can do better the second time than you did the first, and better the third time than you did the second. My daughter is practicing putting lipstick on her father here in the photo. She puts lipstick on anyone who sits long enough for her to get her lipstick out of the tube. (It's not really lipstick, but lipgloss, for those of you thinking, who gives a 3 year old lipstick? Are you crazy? Lipstick was given to her once, and it wound up all over her face, all over the seatbelt in the car, all over her neck and shirt, and even on her brother's face. So, we do chapstick and lipgloss now!) But the good news is that she has practiced with her chapstick and lipgloss, and now knows how to get only on the lips of others. She's still working on the just lips doing her lips. But she's better today than she was when she first started trying. Jorianna is a princess through and through. She loves anything to do with lipstick, nail polish, bags, shoes and dresses. I get strick instructions in the morning on her outfit. It has to be pretty. It can even be pink (which is her fav. color), and not be pretty enough. Whatta princess! :) Seriously, at 3 she loves dress up and pink, and girly girl things. And she's practicing at being a Big Girl. By the time she's a really Big Girl, she'll have mastered the lipstick and nail polish. She'll even have mastered the potty, and dressing herself.

Just like my daughter is practicing growing up doing the girly things now. We all need to learn to not just do things one time. We are not going to be perfect the first time out. Nor the second. It's a lesson I need to keep learning, and is hard to learn. I want perfection now! I don't want to work on it, it's frustrating to work at perfection. And I'll never get there. Sad, but true. I can though acheive the best I can be at any task by keeping at it. Like Cooking (not baking, but actual cooking), I'm never going to be Rachel Ray, but can by trying, be a decent cook for my family's needs. Although I'd rather have Rachel come over and help out with my cooking needs! :) I need to work on it. Or like being a mom. It's a day at a time, and each day I get to try again. My kids will most likely be married or in college before I can say I'm a great mom. But, hey, I need to practice at this stuff. No one handed me a book of instructions! My kids didn't get delivered with a booklet. And each of them are as different as night and day. I just need more practice. With the help of my Husband, and family, and most of all Jesus. I'll have perfected as much as I can with everything I do in my lifetime if I keep at it.

Can't get enough

I just can't seem to get enough of these two little ones. They are so beautiful to me. My daughter, Jori, is dramatic, imaginative, and lovely. My son, Jordan, is inventive, busy, and full of life. Both of them are so different from each other yet similar. I wish I could freeze them at these ages some moments. And other moments remind me that they need to grow up.

They also remind me that it's o.k. to let go everyonce in a while. That it's o.k to act our ages. And that laughter is part of why God created us. I knew that before, when I was a kid. but somehow forgot. Fun used to be why I got up in the morning. Drama is what i lived for. But now, I get into the groove of doing, and forget why. These guys are why, and I need to remember to take a break from the how, and remember and live the why. Playing princess, and building lincoln logs, rumming cars knowing that I'm playing with Hot Wheels not the Matchbox cars, doing nails, and putting on lipstick, hearing the stories that go along with their play. These are why I work, make food, clean the house, and take care of the daily tasks.

I love you kids. Keep to your core, as you mature into young adults, keep to your heart and always remember to have fun. Thank you for your spirits. I pray that God keeps you safe. And that you stay sweet.

Thought of the Day

I need more photo's of me and my family. More photo's with me in them. I'm missing out of my own life. It's like I'm on subatical. (Is that spelled right?) I don't know where I've been or where I've gone; but I'm not really there. I was really fat, so don't take my picture. I don't look that great, so don't take my picture. Then it seems there are times when no one sees me. Or that I've perfected being in a room without being in that room.

I'm tired of being invisible. I'm tired of trying to take myself out of the equation. I'm tired of people being o.k. with me being out of the equation. But the only person to stand up for me is me. Now, some of you may be thinking that sounds like New Age Self Help JulieFuisms. I do know that I have a Savior that stood up for me. And sees me everyday. I just have been ignoring Him. He's been invisible in my life, cause I've been invisible to myself. I'm telling myself this because I want to feel loved. And when your invisible, you can't feel arms wrapped around you. And you can't feel love looking you in the face. You don't notice the little things like small kisses, and glances, and small gestures. When you can't feel enough to cry at the hurts, how can you feel enough to feel the love? And if I don't feel loved than how can I teach my beautiful children how to know it when they see it?

I want to be able to grab hold of love, but my fear overtakes me everytime I go to step out of my cloak. I get stung by reality, and want to wrap myself back where I can't feel. Because I don't want the hurts; just the love. And you can't have one without the other. Which is what makes love all the better because of the hurts hurting so bad.

My life wasn't supposed to hurt. It wasn't supposed to be this difficult. But, it is. And either I face up to the disapointments, and hurts or fail to see and feel and know LOVE. Dear Lord, I pray that you can help me get through my hurts so that I can feel your love. Hold me up like the broken woman I am. I am a woman with scars so deep, that I don't want to show them. I feel like a burden, a disapointment. I am a woman whose dreams fall short of being fulfilled because I'm afraid that I don't deserve anything better than my scars.

Take away my shame, Lord. Give me your peace. Give me Visibility. Give me Strength. Give me LOVE.

Digging for Treasure

Digging for our dreams, for treasure is such a grand idea. We all have dreams. We all want that treasure to unfold before our eyes. Like the pirates searching for buried treasure, they worked at finding it. First we need to know where to look. What are your dreams? Is it a family vacation? A new car? A new career? Do you want to learn something new? Where do you go next?

We need a map. Or a plan on how to achieve those dreams. Then we need the shovels, water (cause we don't want to grow thirsty digging in the sand), and we need our clan of pirates helping us.

My dream is to travel the world, build a custom home (cape cod!), own a digital SLR camera, send my children to private school, and live out God's purpose for my life. I'm not sure what that purpose is quite yet. Kinda like I don't know what I wanna be when I grow up. :)

I know the dreams, I just need to get my plans in place to go after them. Money is obviously part of most of those dreams. And for the last one, a lot of soul searching, and reading my bible, and praying. I can't seem to get that one down. Maybe it'll be a long time in coming if I can't get my plan in play. But I know the plan, and I'm lucky to be that far ahead of the game. I just need help in putting the plan into action.

What are you doing to get your dreams? What point are you at? Do you need the dream? Do you need the Map? Do you need the support/tools? What is it that is stopping you from going after your dreams?

I know a lot of people get stuck at the plan. Kinda like me. And a lot of people get stuck at the support. And some people don't even dare to dream, lest they not deserve to have dreams. I urge you to go after what you want. As I travel down my road to achieve fulfillment of my own dreams.

There are first attempts at everything in life....

First time trying to walk, riding a bike (with and without training wheels), riding a roller coaster, baking your first cake, solving a math equation, rowing in your very own kyak, and now there is Blogging. I've never done this before, so I'm a little wary of publishing what I write, and or don't write. How I say things, or don't say them. I'm cautious of posting photo's online, yet wanting to share my life with all of you.

So, without boring you with my whole philosophy on life, and all of my dreams at once. I'll leave you with this first attemp at blogging. First time uploading photo's and writing my thoughts out there for the world to see. (Even if it's just mom and dad!)

On a side note: Since the photo is there for you to see, that's my gorgeous son Jordan in his first Kyak, bought by Grams and Poppy! :) He was so pleased that he has his very own boat!